Crab Air

I'm not quite sure why it's called Crab Air but it is. That is how the Royal Air Force is referred to. It was my first time flying with the forces and it wasn't quite what I was used to. There was a distinct lack of hostesses in neat little uniforms. Instead as we walked up the ramp at the back of the aircraft we were issued with a small packet. This contained two yellow pieces of foam rubber - one for each ear. We were shown to our "seats" - canvas strapping running down each side of the plane. We still the got the traditional "what to do if we crash brief" - as confidence inspiring as on a normal airliner. As the engines began to turn over I understood the need for the yellow rubber. Imagine pressing a hair dryer right up to your ear and then multiply that by about a hundred. If you can't imagine that I'll just say it was bloody noisy. We taxied out and then began take off. Before I knew it we were airborne and when we landed I'd be in Northern Ireland - the land of terror - or that's what I expected.........