Cold Hard Steel

I've never had to stab anyone with a bayonet. I hope I never have to. Bayonet fighting is upfront and personal as opposed to the slightly more detached act of shooting someone. To kill someone with a bayonet you need to be aggressive. They try to teach you this during training.

To get you in an aggressive frame of mind they try to wind you up. They woke us early but we knew it was coming so it had little effect. They trashed our lockers - ruining a hard nights ironing and folding - inside I was laughing. They made us repeatedly change from one type of uniform to another. One guy wasn't quick enough changing and ended up dressed in formal "No 2" jacket and a pair of tight fitting olive green long johns. This did not have its desired effect and the laughter inside was now in severe danger of coming out. Next we ate breakfast from mess tins - and were given 2 minutes to do so. Another guy had lost his mess tin and ended up eating breakfast from his beret - another bizarrely humourous event.

Worked into a frenzy of silent laughter we were now ready for the bayonet fighting. This wasn't such a laughing matter and consisted of one of the hardest physical workouts I have ever suffered in my life followed by repeatedly charging and stabbing straw filled sandbags.

Bayonet training must rate as one of my most surreal experiences in the army.