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Monday, September 12, 2005

Here Comes The Bride


There is the oft told tale of the Sgt Major trying to break the news to one of his soldiers that his mother has passed away. To make things easier he calls the company out on parade.

"All those with a mother one pace forward," he commands, "Jones stay where you are."

Although I'm sure the story is apocryphal it does illustrate the soldiers sense of humour. Another well known fact is that in the dictionary sympathy lies between shit and syphilis.

It was about this time that one of the guys in the platoon was due to get married. He had been saving for months, never going out, scrimping and saving any way he could. He'd already laid out about £4,000 and was committed to much more. With a couple of weeks to go the bride to be got cold feet. I'm sure he'd liked to have kept it quiet but several of us were invited.

Were we there to support him in his hour of need? Of course we weren't. The jokes began almost immediately, although perhaps some bone of decency meant we gave him 48 hours grace.

After that inquiries as to the welfare of Ms. Smith and whether she might need looking after began to roll in. Looking back on it he took it suprisingly well. I'm sure if the shoe had been on the other foot he would have enjoyed taking the piss as much as we did. But then that's squaddie humour for you. Funny huh?

6 Comments:

Blogger Monica said...

I am so glad my mother talked me out of enlisting many years ago.

10:52 pm  
Blogger trish said...

Gosh....thts harsh...but i guess yall get used to it?

1:37 pm  
Blogger zilla said...

Ha! My father was a U.S. Navy pilot. I remember when he was trying to explain to us kids the defnition of tact, he told a version of the "Jones stay where you are" tale. Thanks for the fond memory!

4:38 pm  
Blogger doris said...

Coping mechanisms I guess. And you gotta be tough - no room for sentimentality. Sad though.

3:40 am  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Doris - funny you should say that but jokes are already beginning to come in about my mate who got hurt like "he'll do anything to get out of working", etc, etc.

6:54 am  
Anonymous Z said...

RUTHLESS!
They're training the empathy out of ye.

2:10 pm  

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