Two's Company..............

On completion of my course I returned back 'home' to my unit in Northern Ireland. I also returned to my four man room. In many ways at the time I was very lucky. I shared a room with only three other blokes and we had our own shower room.

Communal living can be fun at times - ask anyone who has been lonely. At other times however it can be a major pain in the arse.

Between the four of us who shared we owned three TV's, four Hi-Fi systems, four alarm clocks (although two of them may as well not have existed) and an uncountable number of posters of women who have made their mother's proud.

At times you needed ear protection just to walk into the room. Unless there was a major television event that everyone was agreed upon - an England football match being about the only example I can remember - then there would be three TV's playing three different programmes.

Everyone was convinced that what they were watching merited the loudest volume so over the course of the evening the general decibel level in the room would rise. Leaving the room for any length of time didn't necessarily reduce the damage being done to the remainders eardrums as people would leave the TV's playing as some kind of marker for their intended return.

I never quite understood this competition for volume but then I mainly had my head stuck in a book. The one thing I've never quite come to terms with regarding communal living is the absolute lack of shame that some people have regarding 'hand to gland combat'.

"I'm just going to bang one out - have you got any porn?"

It doesn't matter how may times I've heard that it still doesn't sound right.