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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Homeward Bound

As the plane gained height I looked out of the window. We were crossing the coast and the Irish sea looked invitingly blue below us. I was going home on leave. I had mixed feelings.

I was leaving behind the sometimes irksome routine of guards, patrols and training. I was free from living behind a wire fence. I was free from feeling uncomfortable whenever I went out socially. I wouldn't have to "book out" at the guard room every time I wanted to go shopping. If I came in late I didn't risk going to jail for a month.

What did I have to look forward to?

I'd get to spend time with my parents. I'd have fantastic meals cooked for me every day. I could stay in bed, in a room by myself, until I wanted to to get up. No one would shout at me for two weeks. There was also even less chance that someone would try to blow me up, shoot me or otherwise deprive me of life.

But I was leaving my mates. Sure I'd get to go to the pub and maybe catch up with people I'd been at high school with. They'd ask me about what I was doing. They'd not understand anything I'd told them. We'd talk about nothing and I'd get to go home bored.

I left with mixed feelings.

6 Comments:

Blogger Plark said...

Yeah, I know how you feel.

It was like that when I got back home from China. Nobody seems to connect with you having this other life.

It was good to see my mates in London, but I miss being in the orient with my friends there.
With all it's pitfalls and pleasures.

I can't wait to get back to teaching and living abroad again.

Hope you'll get to have as good a time as you can while at home Universal.

10:26 pm  
Blogger Monica said...

Life is filled with situations causing mixed feelings...arg. Glad you got a break though.

10:54 pm  
Blogger zilla said...

Ambivalence -- strong feelings that oppose each other. Hmmm.

Did you really sit behind the wing when you flew? By choice, or by luck?

I like being seated behind the wing. I'm fascinated by it during landing. It looks so heavy and awkward and frail as hell.

When you return from leave, will you have mixed feelings, too?

10:58 pm  
Blogger Milton john said...

One day you will have to do this permanently. With your service that time will soon come and by heck it will take some adjustment!

10:54 am  
Blogger Guyana-Gyal said...

I lived away from home for many years...then I came home for good, with mixed feelings.

But now, the positives outweigh the negatives, I've found.

7:41 pm  
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