Are You Looking At Me?

I'd pretty much given up going out for a drink in Northern Ireland. I was fed up with getting knocked back by bouncers or pretending to be something I wasn't.

The QRF commander insisted though. Everyone who had worked Christmas Day was going out for a drink together. Some of the guys were busy on Boxing Day so we agreed on the night after.

To be perfectly honest I couldn't really be arsed. The town we were going to didn't have the best nightlife in Britain and it was going to cost a small fortune in taxi fares. But Jonah, the QRF commander insisted.

So togged up to the nines there I was. Stood by the bar with a couple of mates. The beer was flowing fine, the music wasn't too bad and there was plenty of 'scenery' to admire.

And then 'something' caught my eye. The 'something' was a mass of long flowing ginger hair. The 'something' was attached to a small but otherwise perfectly formed young lady. The young lady happened to be looking at me.

Now I've always been a bit shy with the ladies. In fact to be perfectly honest I'd rather storm machine gun nests single handedly than go up to a woman and introduce myself.

Hmmm - what to do next?

The next hour was spent exchanging increasingly frequent glances at each other.

'What was she thinking,' I wondered. Various options crossed my mind - the most obvious, to my mind at least was 'Is that creep still looking at me?' The 'I hope that cute guy is still looking at me' option was quite low down on the list.

And then it happened. She started walking to the toilets. To do so she had to pass me. As she got level it happened.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

Slightly at a loss as to what to do next I did the only thing I could think of.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

*Duff Duff Duff - and cue Eastenders theme music*

Part II 'soon'.