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Saturday, December 10, 2005

Gunfire For Breakfast

I rolled over in my narrow army bed pulling the duvet over my head. I'd already taken a peek and Santa hadn't left a stocking at the end of my bed. God I felt awful. Santa might not have been but I had a sneaking suspicion Rudolph might have left a little 'present' in my mouth. If he had he'd definitely kicked me in the head on the way out.

"Yo ho ho. Merry f**king Christmas."

I obviously wasn't the only one awake in the room. We'd spent the previous night in the NAAFI bar. We were on duty and we'd decided it wouldn't be a good idea to go for a big night out. Apparently it had been a good idea to drink 8 or 9 pints of Harp however.

I checked my watch. Good - another hour or two before I had to drag my sorry arse out of bed and head for the armoury.

There was a rap at the door, followed by a small delegation entering the room.

"Morning chaps."

Great- the Company Commander. Just the sort of thing you want when you are severely hungover.

"Just a little treat for you."

The CSM had followed him into the room carrying a tea bomb (a 20 litre flask type thing). Cracking the lid open the smell of cheap rum permeated the room. Polystyrene cups of something resembling tea with rum in it were handed out.

Maybe, just maybe, on another occasion this would have been welcome. I'm sure a decent cup of tea with a decent shot of decent rum in it is no bad thing. But weak army tea with cheapest possible rum was not exactly what the doctor ordered for a hangover. Still tradition is tradition and gunfire on Christmas morning is traditional.

"Merry Christmas chaps," the Company Commander volunteered as he departed.

As the door clicked shut a quiet chorus of "Aye Merry f**king Christmas to you too, Sir" echoed around the room.


Blogger DCveR said...

There is a magical hangover recipe somewhere out there. I believe I was told about it, but due to the fact that even when I get wasted I seem to get no hangover I didn't pay much attention to it... right, it was there deep in the mail box: a couple of aspirins just before going to bed and you're not supposed to get an hangover the next day.

9:30 pm  
Anonymous Growing Up said...

I hate that feeling after i have woke up. It doesn't matter what time of year it is after a drink it feels like some one has always shit in your mouth. you made me laugh when i read your post. Would have prefered to have gone home for Christmas if you could?

10:36 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

DCVER - Chicken Noodle cuppa soup (the powdered kind) - works a treat.

GU - If I had done we wouldn't have met ;)

7:32 am  
Blogger Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

Definately take the advil before bed, works great.... if you're sober enough to remember to take them.


11:25 am  
Anonymous Pat said...

Poor Cin C. Can't do a thing right! Never mind that I'm sitting here with my mouth ajar! Are you and GU married? I mean to each other????? Funnily enough some time ago I clicked on Mrs Soldier and found it was GU but the penny didn't drop. I hate the expression gob-smacked but I'm gob-smacked!!!

12:11 pm  
Blogger fjl said...

Your Army Commander sounds just like Santa ever was to me. Unless of course it was my Cousin Robert filling the stocking all those years... Swearing and crashing about,...hhmmm. Now I'm suspicious.

nb I will link the lovely Mrs Soldier.

3:31 pm  
Blogger Nick said...

Oh, so THAT'S what gunfire is. I'd heard the expression but didn't know what it was. But for BREAKFAST (with or without a hangover)? Bloody hell, it's tough in your army!

4:35 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Idgie - in some ways I think a hangover is a good reminder of how stupid you were the night before. In fact now I'm talking complete rubbish!

Pat - yup. 7 happy years and two little troopers to show for it. It used to be on my profile - maybe I should put it back.

FJL - Now there must be a story behind Cousin Robert possibly being the one who filled the stockings. Do tell.

Nick - made well it's not bad. I guess in the days when it was given out in the trenches it would have been very welcome for breakfast.

6:15 pm  
Blogger greavsie said...

Banana milkshake in the morning.


12:32 pm  
Blogger Guyana-Gyal said...

Pat! I suspected!!!

Mr. & Mrs. Soldier.

So HE was the one dancing like there's no tomorrow :-D

Drink LOTS AND LOTS of water. Or so I've read.

7:18 pm  
Anonymous Z said...

Oooo - can't afford a hangover on Christmas morn - all the excited kiddies squealing. Ouch!!

Just tell me about the pressies. You did get a pressie?

3:00 pm  
Anonymous Laura said...

Failsafe: drink water the night before. It always works for me. I haven't had a hangover in years.

No, no, no - not instead of the beer! Just keep a steady intake of water between the pints. That wretched morning-after headache is caused by dehydration. (Plus, having a pint of water for every Pint pint slows down the intake...)

My mother, a nurse, said the ambulance drivers swore by taking a few deep breaths of oxygen from the tanks for the morning after. Never tried that one.

6:29 pm  

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