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Saturday, January 14, 2006

First Night

When I'd been in Northern Ireland I'd gone out very little. Even a 'big' night out ended at 1am when the bars shut.

Boy was Germany different.

7pm'ish - roommate and I crack the first beers of the evening.

7:31pm - start getting ready.

7:38pm - finish getting ready. Spend the next forty-five minutes drinking beer as roommate preens himself in a manner more befitting the female of the species.

8:30pm - hit the NAAFI bar. (Not in a literal sense I might add - that usually happens later).

Spend the next hour drinking beer and playing pool. According to the 'experts' nothing gets going down town till 'later'.

9:45pm - first yawn.

10:15pm - arrive at local German hostellry. Order pint in bestest remembered German phrase. "Sorry love - can't understand a word you're saying," is the reply. Bar staff all Squaddie's wives.

10:42pm - am introduced to the game of 'Nails'. This involves hitting nails into a very large log with the wrong end of the hammer.

10:46pm - first 'Nails' injury of the evening. Still sober enough to recognise that game involving precision, sharp object and large hammer probably best not played when drinking.

11:35pm - second, third and fourth yawns in quick succession.

12:25am - informed by bloke in the know that the night club next door is now open but it's dead in there.

12:36am - venture into nightclub. Bloke in the know was right - more life in a smoked haddock.

01:12am - introduced to the delights of Vodka RedBull (this was the mid 90's and still a new phenomenon at the time).

03:15am - haven't felt so awake in years.

04:00am - dragged out of nightclub by roommate and others 'desperate' to get home.

04:10am - they can't have been that 'desperate' as we are now sat in a German brothel.

04:11am - spurt large mouthful of beer over barmaid after being told the price of a drink. Realise I just coughed the equivalent of fiver over her. Consider asking her if she'll wring her top out into my glass and think better of it.

04:30am - blokes return satisfied. Suspect the ladies were less so.

05:15am - tucked up in bed.

06:30am - maybe I drank a little bit too much RedBull.


Blogger greavsie said...

Ah, the old 4-10am and I'm pissed as a fart in a German brothel feeling.

Was it a flashback or a dream you might ask yourself amidst the hangover from hell. ;-)

8:43 pm  
Blogger Katy Newton said...

Sounds depressingly familiar, but you left out the ending - or rather, the two equally feasible endings:


10:40am: provide full and frank statement to RMP in relation to the evening's events whilst having broken nose set;


10:40am: provide full and frank statement to RMP in relation to the evening's events for the benefit of the tape in the RMP interview room.

8:47 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Greavsie - and there is nothing, nothing worse than a RedBull hangover.

Katy - Oh god - you were out that night as well. (Actually I managed five years there with just the one RMP witness statement - maybe that's a record.)

8:56 pm  
Anonymous Jamie said...

At first, I thought that your "Nails" might be a version of our "Darts". Where we throw darts at the plank of the day. Of course, (s)he gets a bar-stool to defend himself/herself and we ALWAYS use clean darts (for the first round anyway).

Brings to mind what I once heard, "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious."

1:52 am  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Jamie - ouch.

8:04 am  
Blogger Plark said...

There are wedings like that in China...

Except with a few cultural differences.

The "laowai" or foreignners get called in by all the old hard drinking bastards at around 10am after the weddings over.

We then "ganbei" (Small glasses of beer downed in one) about 8 large bottles of Harbin beer each. Mixed in with shots of "bai jiu". A potent drink indeed.

Make passes at attractive Chinese women. Not too clever. Grab cab. Ask cabby for brothel, via thrusting action.

Get to brothel, er herm, drink more beer, then try to leave and realise we're being done for cash, as we're "laowai" and we're all rich.

A bit of rough and tumble follows, as I am with large Irish man and hard Australian bloke. 3 of us six of them.

Then off to Mcdonalds at 10pm and home to bed for hangover time.

Fond times indeed.

9:39 am  
Blogger Growing Up said...

Vodka and Redbull that brings back memories good ones at that. Many a night we stayed till 5am we couldn't do it now even if we didn't have the kids.

2:05 pm  
Anonymous Z said...

I don't recognise the rest but the WIDE AWAKE - too much Red Bull, I do recognise.

4:15 pm  
Blogger Monica said...

I fear the redbull now more than ever

7:42 pm  
Blogger PI said...

vdaoyriWhen did you ever get time to write to GU? And I suppose you had those ginormous Stein mugs? Hopefully by now you have got it all out of your system. Right?
Milk thistle all round. Should I try Red Bull?

11:37 am  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Plark - sounds like fun!

GU/Z/Mo - RedBull is the drink of the devil.

PI - I'm sure GU would tell you how crap I am at writing letters.

5:46 pm  

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