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Monday, February 20, 2006

You Can't Get Quicker Than A.........

The time
: the mid 1990s.
The place: a tank park somewhere in Germany.
The activity: trackbashing.

The Warrior IFV is a tracked vehicle - for the undiscerning vehicle spotter it's like a little tank. The tracks have rubber pads. These either protect the track from the road or vice versa - depending on your perspective.

The rubber pads fall off.


In fact the cynical amongst us might argue that they are designed to fall off so that underemployed squaddies don't get bored.

Once a sufficient number of track pads have fallen off someone will decide that the track needs fixing. The procedure goes something like this:

  1. Assemble a group of approximately 10 soldiers. If you want to cheat then one of them should know what they are doing. However, it's far more fun, if there are a couple of people who 'think they know how to do it' or 'saw someone do it last week'.
  2. Unscrew bolt holding one of the track pins together.
  3. Forget to check if there anyone standing the other side of the vehicle.
  4. Hit track pin with sledgehammer until it shoots out the other side.
  5. Escort wounded soldier to Medical Centre (see point 3).
  6. Using combination of brute force, luck, a lot of revving engines and a large amount of foul language remove track from Warrior.
  7. Spend 2-3 hours chipping rock hard mud from track pads.
  8. Remove broken track pads.
  9. Get new supply of track pads.
  10. Find out new supply of track pads have been supplied without bolts.
  11. Invent several new swear words and spend remainder of day trying to get Warrior back into one piece.


Blogger Bush Ranger said...

That sounds about right

9:22 pm  
Blogger PI said...

7 reminds me of cleaning my climbing boots which reminds me I have left them, inadvertantly. in my son's car which is now many miles away. Heigh ho!

12:24 pm  
Anonymous Kath said...

haha, I just love these! Such a great mental picture!

3:44 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Onlooker - ;)

PI - let's hope they come back clean.

Kath - :)

4:30 pm  
Blogger Bush Ranger said...

How true. I'm an ex squaddie myself, so respect and take care.

8:29 pm  
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7:10 pm  

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