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Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Games People Play

When I returned from Germany I was bit a down. After all I'd just left the woman I'd sort of proposed to.

But it was ok.

We had a new game.

The Officers Mess was at the opposite end of camp to the working accomodation. Being lazy buggers most of them cycled the few hundred metres to work. Most of them also carried large quantities of important looking paper work under one arm.

Which presented them with a little bit of a problem when someone saluted them.

Unless they were any good at cycling one handed.

Which most of them weren't.

The winner was the was person who when saluting managed to make the officer:

  • crash into a lamp post
  • nearly fall/fall off his bike.
  • do something else particularly stupid.

My what fun we had.


Anonymous Kath said...

That sounds fantastic (and only slightly cruel) ;o) And, hey, I've heard worse things...

7:13 pm  
Anonymous brotherinarms said...

I always find the saluting of officers on bicycles an awkward situation. When someone is riding towards you at speed, not giving you those crucial few seconds to decide if it is an officer or not, it’s a tricky decision to make, salute or not salute. Personally I will always go for not saluting; I would rather endure the wrath of an officer for not saluting them, than the embarrassment of saluting an NCO! Because you can guarantee the NCO will not return the compliment, rather scream “I’m not an officer, I work for a living you w****r!” as they speed on past to work and tell everyone about your foolish mistake!

9:05 pm  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...

INCOMING ROUNDS (d&c): Speaking of games...ya gotta know Clowns love games eh? MASTERS of games.
Do you play chess UNIVERSAL?

What if I told you I re-invented Chess that utilizes the same basic playing pieces with a small modification that employs the teachings of Christ & follows the "ART of the WARRIOR."

Whereby, you were prohibited from using the power of death until you have mastered the power of life.

Whereby, your enemy is your friend and your friend is your enemy.

Would ya Learn? Could ya learn?
Ya Wanna Learn? I think ya could, I just don't know if ya would or wanna.
If you do and PROVE yourself worthy by answering my riddle:

No cheating...I will allow you to get a child to help you though, just ask some of them they'll tell ya right away.

9:11 pm  
Blogger Guyana-Gyal said...

I like this game. Very much. Especially after reading Clive James's version of army officers :-D

4:02 am  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Kath - oh yes much worse to come :)

BIA - you can always kneel down and pretend to be tying your shoe lace ;)

AC - when we are sat down to dinner in my house we have topics which aren't discussed - religion and politics. I'd like to keep it the same here at my blog please.

GG - most of them aren't too bad but it's a good laugh having fun with the baby officers.

7:12 am  
Anonymous David Duff said...

I remember saluting an officer once and he gave me in return the sort of limp-wristed, nonchalent semi-wave that so many of them affected, but unfortunately the RSM happened to spot it. Eruption of RSM, destruction of officer and smug smirk from me!

9:04 am  
Blogger greavsie said...

I've heard of officers being saluted into paralysis by a group setting off at regular intervals across the parade ground.

1:45 pm  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...

My apoligies Universal, I hadn't realized you were eating.
Chess is a "Game" Universal, not a religion my friend. I'm not sure how you turned it into a religion, but I thought the invitation was to learn a new style of CHESS.
I merely thought that considering war stategies are heavily based on Chess that perhaps you might want to learn something new.
You must understand that while your job is to kill people , mine is to save.
And even though I'm trying to save "you"(group you), "you" keep trying to kill me and while "you" keep trying to kill me...I keep trying to save "you".
I don't really expect honest communication with "Uiversal Soldiers", "Magistrate's", or "Lennie Brisco's" but I do have to open those lines of communication and attempt it.
NOW is not yet the hour of JUDGEMENT.
NOW is the hour of WARNING.
However, as I AM,
Only followed by the willing,
I Will walk on.
If you change your mind
Seek me with your heart and you will find me.
your humble servant,
Ancient Clown

3:57 pm  
Blogger Katy Newton said...

It is their fault for riding bicycles and carrying things at the same time when they know perfectly well that they need to keep their saluting arm free.

5:54 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

David - glad to hear it. I've always liked the idea espoused by an officer in the Rifle Brigade in the 19th century that a salute was 'a greeting between two members of the same profession, given by the junior in rank and returned in kind by the senior.'

Greavsie - yes I'd heard of that as well.........

Katy - oh yes!

6:03 pm  

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