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Monday, March 20, 2006

Who Left That There?

I wasn't in the best of moods going back out on exercise. After flying back from Canada I'd had just about enough time to unpack my bergan, wash my uniform (after four weeks with the same pair of kecks on it kind of needs it) and repack my bergan and then it was back into the thick of it again.

Compared with the exercise I'd just finished a week spent trogging around a small training area in Germany was small fry and my mind wasn't really on it.

Which might account for what happened.

It was late.

It was as black as a witches tit.

I was tired.

We were returning from an ambush and moving through a wood.

Kicking my feet along the ground I felt a log in front of me.

I stepped over it.

Unfortunately someone had left a 5 foot hole the other side and as we arrived at the bottom of the hole my face became intimately acquainted with my rifle.


Anonymous jamie said...

Ouch, which end? Not that one end would hurt less than the other, but I'd imagine that the wrong end would be a lot more dangerous. Was there a little bayonet-ty bit stuck on the end as well (I'm not sure how ancient you are :D)?

4:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More to the point (boom boom) did it do you any damage?

6:53 pm  
Anonymous brotherinarms said...

Lets be honest, it's not like you were the best looking bloke anyway!!! Hope you had a goodweekend away mate.

7:25 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Jamie - it was quite a sharp bit in the middle. And yes even modern day soldiers have bayonetty type things.

Lennie - a small scar.

BIA - cheeky f***er. By the way you are getting the beers in.

7:30 pm  
Anonymous Stu Savory said...

In Germany?

We don't like it up us, you know!


PS: In an exercise area, a log big enough to s(h)it on, with a deep hole behind it, sounds like a "field-toilet" (aka Donnerbalken) to me. You sure twere empty??? ;-)

8:50 pm  
Blogger Katy Newton said...

You should have sued!

*digs out notebook*

10:03 pm  
Anonymous brotherinarms said...

Looking forward to getting the beers in mate.You can give me the biggest beer goggles in the world, they won't make you any better looking!!!

10:55 pm  
Blogger PI said...

Oh US! Not permanent damage? Tell me that isn't why your photograph is all blurry.

11:32 pm  
Blogger toastedeggbanjo said...

Yes those German forests are bitch black, as a young nig many moons (and I mean many) I had a frantic night scrambling around in the dark trying to find my 432 after popping out for a shovel recce. I also discovered that Grens are a very unfriendly bunch when you blunder through their Milan positon

2:04 am  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Stu - I've seen the odd field toilet in my time and after a very close inspection I can confirm that this definitely wasn't.

Katy - funny you should say that....

PI - nothing too major. The photos blurred because BIA isn't far off the mark!

EggBanjo - I've heard the 432 is to make a comeback - now what is that all about?

7:08 am  
Blogger toastedeggbanjo said...

Good idea, bring them back I say, along with KF Shirts, 58 pattern webbing and SLRs

Now thats real soldiering

8:34 am  
Anonymous TC said...

Do you still have puttees?

They were good - took three hours to put on, but doubled as a field dressing.

So I'm told.

11:48 am  
Blogger Growing Up said...

Wearing the same pair of kecks for 4weeks just isn't good.I could just see me packing a bergen there would be kecks in my mess tin and everything just so i could fit some more in. Did the blokes have a good laugh ant you fallin down the hole.

1:18 pm  
Anonymous Laura said...

One woman's minger is another woman's adonis!

2:57 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Eggbanjo/TC - just about managed to miss all of the aforementioned items - NIG that I am.

GU - yup they laughed.

Laura - thanks. Wouldn't exactly put myself right down at the minging end of the scale though. I think brotherinarms is just a bit jealous of something but we'll leave it at that....

3:16 pm  
Blogger Theblonde said...

OUCH! Your kids will be impressed though, "You've got war wounds Dad."

Night vision specs not standard issue yet then?

4:59 pm  
Blogger Foilwoman said...

I just want to hear the story you tell your mates down at the pub as to how you got the scar. You're a guy. It won't be "I tripped. I fell. I bashed myself in the face with my bayonet." So let's all be on the lookout for tales of derring do by some British solder in Germany. And the fish was THIS big . . .

7:35 pm  
Blogger gonorr said...

did you break your SA80?
good you you didnt fall on a slr, you would have beeen casevaced

9:35 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

The Blonde - hadn't thought of that!

Foilwoman - actually the truth is quite funny, although sometimes it might be a case of the 'the whole was this big'.

Gonorr - yup put the EBS on it through my cheek - nice!

6:13 am  
Blogger SL said...

These are the people protecting our freedoms, people. Don't you feel safe? ;o)

10:17 am  
Blogger savante said...

Ouch. WHat happened to your face!


1:06 pm  
Blogger fjl said...

get well soon x

7:12 pm  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...

Please understand how serious I AM when I leave this post.
Those who follow liars, murderers, and thieves ARE who they follow.
I understand you're going to say you're just following orders. That is why I AM, giving you an ORDER...pass it on.
Become a GUARDIAN, not a soldier.

On Judgement Day, when you stand before The ALMIGHTY JUDGE, you won't be able to say you weren't warned, only that you didn't listen.

Otherwise you're just helping them.

I used to be a soldier until GOD gave me a field promotion.

8:05 pm  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...

Now I walk through places with my guitar that Cops won't go with guns.
Walk with me in the Way of the Warrior.

8:07 pm  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...

I mean no disrespect to those whom have given their lives for what they believed whould be making a difference.
I'm asking you to stop throwing your lives away for lies and REALLY do something that will.

8:11 pm  
Blogger cookie monster said...

i shouldnt laugh, i really shouldnt, but hahahahahahahahaha!

sorry, im just gonna wait for the day one the squaddies round my way do something similar (i live opposite Royal Engineers base or whatever u call it in Brompton.

and is that Ancient clown fella is talking utter bollocks or is it just me?

11:43 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

SL - oh that's nothing!

Paul - nothing too major.

Ancient Clown - during my time in the army I've actually spent far more time peacekeeping than warfighting. The army isn't just about killing.

Cookie - welcome and glad it made you laugh.

6:41 am  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...


"Peacekeeping"...interesting choice of words.
For Whom do you keep this peace, and considering the NON-STOP wars throughout the earth since the "WAR to END all WARS" ended. Not to mention(yes, please don't Ancient) the "peaceful" deaths of poor people at the hands of POLICE daily throughtout the free & rich world...WHERE are you keeping this peace, because I'm very sure there are alot of people (like myself)who would like a little of it. If you don't mind sharing.

I AM, a former member of the Princess of Wales Own Regiment.
Awarded with BEST SECTION. I just thought my 'BROTHERS IN ARMS' wouldn't leave a man behind when the police tried to murder me. WRONG!!! But I guess that's my own fault for discovering and then notifying people about how poor people are really being treated in the rich, free world.

Death to the asshole clown for telling the TRUTH. Long live BUSH for lying.
Please forgive the Sarcasm but think for a moment how many people Hitler killed? Zero.
How many people did the people following Hitler kill. All of them.
How many people did Christ kill? Zero.
How many people did the people following Christ kill? If it was even one...was it really Christ they were following?

8:07 am  
Blogger toastedeggbanjo said...


You are trying to raise an interesting argument, but one that is fatally flawed

You are comparing Christ to Hitler, and interesting analogy don't you think, but try to account for it by stating that it was not Christ will, fine, but are you now trying to compare Hitler to Bush or Blair ?. If that’s the case could you not compare them to Christ after all people have killed in all their names but were they following their true desires ?

But none of this matters, the armed forces are a device of the politician, whereas the politician, in a democratic society is merely the elected proxy of the people. Are you not one of the people ? Did you vote either to elect the Labour party or not vote in apathy which in its self allowed this party in (voting for the green party or even the Lib-Dems also falls within these criteria as after all we are really a 2 party country)

If so then are you not ultimately to blame for all of this ?

How many people did Hitler kill ? Zero

How many people voted to put him in power ?

9:43 am  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...

Hi Toasted:

A few posts down the line, "Games People Play" Universal asks this;
"AC - when we are sat down to dinner in my house we have topics which aren't discussed - religion and politics. I'd like to keep it the same here at my blog please."

I've stopped posting on his BLOG out of respect for that request as he earned my respect by even posting my comments & questions to begin with...and also for answering.

So, if you'd please, I'd like to move this conversation to my site where I will more than happy to continue it, as you are helping me make my point.
I actually ran AGAINST the corruption, by having a;
"Don't Vote for Ancient Clown"; nobudget campaign, adding my voice properly to the "not running, just standing here leadership race".
Technically I won, as the number of people who didn't vote outnumbers the ones who did...but again you have to find the HONEST COP, LAWYER & JUDGE to arrest and impeach the BUSH's, BLAIR's, MARTIN's etc.
But please out of respect let's move this to my site, perhaps under "CAIN & ABEL", "Ancient Meanings", or "The BIBLE-Ancient Version"...YOUR choice.

Universal, my apoligies and respect,
your humble servant,
Ancient Clown

2:53 pm  

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