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Friday, December 02, 2005

Whirlycopter Thingumijig

The hand reached into the bag and pulled out the first name. Bugger - it wasn't mine. Another name was called. Only one chance left.

And then in a Charlie-finding-the-golden-ticket moment I heard my name called.

I was going on a helicopter ride.

To begin with I thought this was karma making up for the incident with the dog earlier in the week. I was soon to find out I was wrong.

This wasn't the first time I'd been in helicopter but it was the first time I'd been in a Gazelle. The Gazelle is not the most impressive helicopter. In fact it looks like the sort of the thing you might buy for Action Man at Toy 'R' Us. It consists of one rather large plastic bubble, a couple of pieces of metal nicked from a mechano box and an engine.

It was during the pre-flight briefing that I first began to get second thoughts.

"Be careful what you touch - you might put your hand right through the metal."

This was followed with what to do if the engine stopped. As far as I can remember the 'what to do' consisted of putting your head down between your legs and kissing your arse goodbye - or something like that.

It was just after we'd put our headphones on that it happened. The pilot asked if any of us had any questions.

"Yeah - have you ever made anyone airsick," one of the other lads asked.

"No - I haven't."

"Bet you can't."


Half an hour later and feeling rather green we got out of the helicopter.


Blogger greavsie said...

I wanted to fly a Gazelle!

Damn my eyesight.

2:08 pm  
Blogger Mr. Matt said...

Aaahhhh good old airsickness. I was able to ride in a Blackhawk helicopter once. No one even mentioned airsickness but before we took off the pilot said "If you think your going to puke use your helmets. Cause I'm not cleaning out my bird because of you." No one had to take off their helmet but since the one troop coulden't pry it off as fast as it came up the pilot had to clean out his bird.

4:35 pm  
Blogger MuppetLord said...

Never dare with the guy in control. It is asking for trouble.

5:00 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Greavsie - there are four bolts that hold the engine of the Gazelle to the rest of the machine. To me four is quite a small number. Now the Apache - that is a thing of beauty!

Mr Matt - that'll teach the fly-boys.

Muppetlord - ay - I'm with you on that one.

6:33 pm  
Blogger Anxious said...

You boys, eh?

6:49 pm  
Blogger Guyana-Gyal said...

You can get that same green feeling on a wild Disney ride.

But for some reason, little kids love it and don't get green.

7:47 pm  
Anonymous fjl said...

There was a nice one of these flying over Gotham City- by the sound of it, conversations don't change much between one copter and another...:0) " Bet you never made anyone airsick..." "Idiot"...
Very jealous. Love scaring and astounding in these mean fly-machines, but life renegates me to research these days.
"And where is, the bat-man? Why he's at home, washing his tights"!

2:30 pm  
Anonymous JP said...

Universal Soldier, voting is open. Here's your link:

Next week I'll be officially announcing the Category included in teh MILBLOGGIES. Thanks for writing and sorry this comment isn't related to the post, I didn't know where else to put it.


4:01 pm  
Blogger Plark said...


I love those people...

5:30 pm  
Anonymous Z said...

A mechano set helicopter - hmmm. Sounds a bit like a fairground ride. I always spend my time (waiting for the ride to start) examining how well everything is bolted together. But I'd never dare the guy on the waltzers to try and make me motion sick!

5:52 pm  
Blogger Monica said...

I bet your were the guy, come on, admit it

12:36 pm  

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