Make Like A Bush (The Sequel)

"Ok - we've got to cam up the wagon."

Camming up a vehicle that is 6.34m long, 3.034m wide and 2.791m high is great fun. In fact it's that much fun that it should be added as an event on the Generation Game. It's almost as much fun as camming yourself up.

The procedure, as laid down officially by the British Army, goes something like this:

1. Take 1 x Warrior Armoured Fighting Vehicle.

2. Take 1 x camouflage net.

3. Drap camouflage net over Warrior.

4. Prop net up with poles so that it looks like a very large bush.

The actual procedure goes something along the lines of:

1. Try to extract camouflage net from storage bin.

2. Find out that camouflage net has inexplicably turned itself into a rather large knot.

c. Unravel camouflage net.

iii. Drap camouflage net over vehicle.

4. Find out that camouflage net is in a bad mood and decides to get caught on every single nut, bolt or other protuding object.

5. Finally get camouflage net up.

6. Find out that you only have the required number of poles to make vehicle look like half a bush.

7. Find out that camouflage net is not actually in a bad mood but is just feeling unloved.

8. Camouflage net in a desperate bid for attention ties itself around all of the buttons on your jacket and trousers.

9. Escape from psycho-camouflage net.

10. Admire the efforts of the last thirty minutes.

11. Admit that Warrior looks nothing like a large bush. In fact Warrior looks like Warrior with camouflage net on it.

12. Make a brew.