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Saturday, January 07, 2006

Penis Extension

If a swanky car makes a chap feel like he's got a bigger cock then a Warrior Fighting Vehicle makes him feel like he's Ron Jeremy.

With its' sleek lines, throaty engine and ground trembling tracks it is a truly impressive beast.

(Watch out Clarkson I'm after your job.)

Oh and if you drive it fast enough and hit the right bump you can get 'air' a la Dukes of Hazzard.

Our move to Germany had also seen our unit change role to that of Armoured Infantry.

Which was great because it meant we wouldn't have to walk anywhere anymore.

And for any geeks out there if you go here you actually look around inside a Warrior.


Anonymous Growing Up said...

Is that not every mans dream to have that size of gun between their legs. That looks fun to drive and by the sounds of it you enjoyed it too.

9:33 am  
Blogger Elle said...

It's not the size that matters but what you can do with it? Isn't that what we make you believe ;)?

10:21 am  
Blogger Plark said...

We had a tank drive down the high road once.

The guys hung out the top and were laughing about it. Nobody would drive near the thing.


11:48 am  
Blogger trish said...

LOL! Ron Jeremy has got it huuuuge!

11:49 am  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

GU - I've heard it makes you go light headed.

Laura - it's not the size of the ship it's the motion in the ocean.

Plark - yup people don't tend to tailgate armoured vehicles. Oh and tankies get very upset if you call a Warrior a tank.

Trish - it even makes my eyes water.

12:41 pm  
Blogger Southern Bird said...

Hey i've seen Ron Jeremy and i wasn't impressed!

2:06 pm  
Blogger Katy Newton said...

There must be a way to tie this post in with your comment on Greavsie's blog. I'll be back as soon as I've thought of one.

3:09 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

SB - you know the missus said exactly the same thing ;)

Katy - can't wait for that one. And yes the Deep Heat incident was entirely accidental. As was the incident with the chillis.

4:11 pm  
Blogger greavsie said...

So no 'Cock - Suppressing fire' analogy?

I'm disappointed ;-)

9:04 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Greavsie - I didn't really want to mention it, all a bit embarassing, Mrs S keeps complaining about the 'Rapid Fire'.

9:10 pm  
Blogger Nick said...

My oh my, what a big one. Wish I had one like that to impress the girls with.

1:27 am  
Blogger Katy Newton said...

... nothing. I tried, but... oh well. I liked looking round the Warrior, anyway.

2:56 pm  
Blogger Southern Bird said...

rapid fire! hahaha
at least it doesnt get overly flustered what with all that heat generated friction and jam !!!!

Or at least one hopes!

4:34 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

Nick - better than a Porsche.

Katy - yup they're lovely - a bit cosy when there's 7 of you sat in the back though.

SB - no comment.

5:51 pm  
Blogger fjl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:19 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

FJL - I don't know what is the female equivalent - a boob job. Nice to see a ceasefire over at your place.

7:22 pm  
Blogger fjl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:52 pm  
Anonymous Pat said...

I doubt if it is really relevant to what everybody else is talking about but my first husband 'did something secret in tanks.' I wonder if they have changed much since the fifties?

12:00 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

FJL - maybe because blokes think of these things all the time ;)

Pat - a little faster perhaps, a better gun perhaps. Basically still a big metal box on tracks.

5:48 pm  
Blogger Southern Bird said...

Does Pat mean 'shuffle' ?

10:26 pm  
Blogger Universal Soldier said...

SB - now I come to think of it doing 'something secret in tanks' does sound a bit odd. ;)

7:50 am  
Blogger Guyana-Gyal said...

Boys and their toys

10:57 am  

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